The Hippo'critic' Oath

I swear by Apollo, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath.

To consider dear to me, as my parents, him (or her,equality for all) who taught me this art; to live in common with him(or her again) and, if necessary, to share my goods with him(now how are we supposed to do that in this time of economic downturn?); To look upon his children as my own brothers, to teach them this art.

I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.(well..since the university i study in has cut down my course by half a year, i don't know how this can be made possible...Forgive me, dear patients)

I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion.(Cause' i don't know of any medicament that i could prescribe to you...Referrals will be made at an nominal charge of 50 bucks)

But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.

I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art.(yup....this I can do)

In every house where I come I will enter only for the good of my patients, keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men, be they free or slaves.(or pro's....and i will always enter any house with a vial of Alexander Flemings elixir,and a pack of rubbers,if my will fails me)

All that may come to my knowledge(rather, lack of) in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce with men, which ought not to be spread abroad, I will keep secret and will never reveal.(heaven forbid if my missus finds out!)

If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times;(and buy that Rolls Royce i saw last week) but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot.(But i Hope money solves my problems)

PEACE