We are bothered

As human beings, we have come quite a way along the evolutionary chain; from grunting, scavenging savages to erudite, intelligent individuals with a whole bag of skills we have acquired/learned over centuries/millennia.

One of these traits being a large emotional cortex. While it has its own benefits, providing us with the ability to empathize, one of the few living creatures proven by science to be able to do so, it comes with a caveat; we are always bothered. There must be a certain dopamine rush one gets from putting one's nose in another's affairs.

We bother about what our relatives are up to, that one cousin who doesn't come to family gatherings, and so on. I'm sure that you've been on one end of at least one of the examples below:

That one relative whose husband passed away recently; "Ohh! Poor thing! How is she staying all alone in that house? Why haven't her sons left their highly paying jobs and rushed home to take care of her? Has he made a will? To whom has he made out that plot of land? I wonder what they will do with all that land." 

That one kid who isn't doing too well at school " Look at him, that good for nothing. I hardly see him study. He must be bunking classes and vandalizing public property. I am sure his best friend was a gang member or something. My kid has been on his PS4 for the last 4 hours and has not even looked at his homework but this other kid...man! " 

That slightly obese lady taking a walk in the park "I wonder if she's on a diet. I know a certain specialist who could help her. Maybe she has a thyroid problem. Why can't she just go to a gym or something and lose weight? I've bought two custard pies and I'm diabetic but who cares? The doctor will just re-adjust my meds! This is more important than me!"

The neighbor who is in between jobs " Why can't he just join his old job? It's not like he left on bad terms. Wasn't he planning to go to the USA? I wonder what happened to that. Maybe I can ask him to call up his old workplace? I have a project report that's due tomorrow but who cares! This is way more important than that!"

The politician who allegedly got injured during a rally " Oh look , the cast is on the wrong foot! He wiggled the injured foot! Let's take a video and make it viral. Son wants to go out to buy schoolbooks? Nah! That can wait! We need to talk more about this foot!"

Picture credit : Shutterstock

"Why did they post that on Facebook? Why did she post that bikini pic on insta? Why did he upload that video of he and his friends drunk on snapchat?"

One allows themselves to be bothered with situations/scenarios that do not require their input/deserve our attention; one allows ourselves to get sucked into that whirlpool of negativity. One "feels" that their opinion may prove to be of "value" and by offering that opinion, they are making a difference, "constructive" criticism if you may say so. The only fruit one may reap of such a practice is that of resentment.

If you are so bothered by anyone or anything someone says or does, the best thing is don't follow them. Mute/Block/Unfollow/Unfriend/Ignore them. Do not make it personal. It is your choice to do so. The world would be a whole lot better if we could be a little less bothered with others and focus a little more on improving ourselves.