Life as a med intern and bachelor - EP4 - The Aftermath

Photocredit : notaboutjackie.blogspot.com

Im sure many of you who've been to med school will have encounterd the various queries throughout the entire period of ur course that i'm going to state below:

1st year :
Why did you take medicine?
You finished dissection? Do the dead bodies smell? ( They're dead bodies FYI,you can't expect the smell of eau de cologne to emanate from them decaying remains)
Anatomy is tough na? (Do you even know what anatomy is??)
How were ur exams?1st year is the toughest isnt it? (Its a known fact people.We don't need you to keep emphasizing it)

2nd year:
You passed ?wow! how much did you get?Distinction? (Please people, this isn't a 10th grade board exam.This is med school.I'm lucky to have even cleared 1st yr!)
You go to clinics now right?Did you purchase a steth and all?Check my pulse and BP!By the way i have this swelling in my nether regions which kind of looks like a baboon's rear..would you care to take a look and tell me what it could be? (I just got into 2nd yr folks!I'm not a surgeon!Had I known what that swelling was,why would I even need to go to med school?)

3rd year:
Nothing much here...people expect you to be an advanced surgeon now.

4th year:
You must be daily studying na?Study hard, then we can get free treatment from you.(Yea right!So that's why I spent lakhs of med school fees, to be a philanthropist to you moochers!)

Internship: I won't go much into this one...I'll just quote a few.
You say that I have melanoma ? But that renowned dermatology specialist said that its just a wart?!
I have disc prolapse? But according to the tv med show,disc prolapse is the diagnosis only if I look like a contorted pachyderm?? (ooh! I know whoz gonna make you look like one soon)

So now, you've finished med school...and the euphoria of having survived the most arduous year of your life vaporises with the qn :what next?

Photocredit : ganben.blogspot.com

The first few days are spent catching up on the countless hours of missed sleep, parties, and missed sitcoms
The next few are spent rueing joining med school and missing out on the "joys"of college life, followed by gossiping with your batchmates,on how great college life was.
You are suddenly hit with the thought "I should get a job!""earn cash to get that flat screen LCD i always wanted!" , and search for GPs ( general practice ) ; your newly acquired powers of deduction , previously non-existent/non functional,suddenly go into overdrive, people are rewarded with the rare diagnoses they always wanted so as to be the talk at the dinner table.
You soon realise : Post grad is the way to greatness! ... This begins the Application form era .... Apply,download,print,attest,send.
I personally find it weird that they keep asking for a photograph "Not more than 6 months old"; its not like our facial features metamorphosize like Michael Jackson (RIP)!!
You also probably join an entrance coaching course "to keep with the trends".
Each education board also take turns in devising the ultimate way to torture applicants;For eg: The application must be attested by an officer no lower than the rank of the big poobah or else it shall be discarded and treated as a toilet accessory.
In the meantime, relatives get busy; a photoshopped image of some Miss India lookalike arrives at your door every few weeks, with a biodata,gene tree,horoscope,DNA extract and an RSVP.
(All right,guess I got a bit carried away when I stated DNA extract,but you get my drift)
Parents, eager to show that you're not an unemployed lump of lipid occupying space on furniture, push you into getting a job...which is where I stand,right now, outside the dean's office,waiting for an hour now for an interview..
Being so conscious of time,I decided to sit down and blog this post...

DISCLAIMER: Folks I would like to remind you that this post is completely a work offiction...and may or may not resemble what I or many of you folks are going through at the moment.
SO kindly read it leaving the rational part of your brain in the icebox.Until next time!
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